Smear Tactics opens with a horrendous storm sinking two ships when the lighthouse keeper Mudflap falls remiss in his duties. The Kneedeep newspaper reports that a cargo of Hollywood-bound yetis perished, and a ruptured tanker is spilling camel hair remover into the coastal waters of Oregon.

The residents of Kneedeep go about their business reporting to their daily constitutionals at Mudflap's Retreat and gathering to eat and gossip at Reuben's Cafe. Tammy Pooch, the glamorous "Hairdresser to the Yetis", has just returned from Hollywood, and vies for her seventh title as the "Sowstench Festival Queen". But liver deliverer Ulna Patella poses stiff and unwelcome competition and the smear tactics begin.

The patently hideous meter maid Miss Magee enrages the tight-knit Kneedeep community with her manic zeal in enforcing traffic, spoon, and even toothpick violations. The inscrutable Boo Yow Chee, delicate master of Fū, along with his Fūciples Geyser and Hyphen, fall victim to Magee's vicious onslaughts of righteousness. All end up in Judge Chootah's bizarre courtroom and are subjected to her warped interpretation of Kneedeep justice.

Into the midst of the smearing wanders the mysterious Karkass Fairfax, an eccentric tulip breeder from Amsterdam. His arrival seems oddly timed with the stormy shipwreck, and Reuben is the first to notice that this stranger is not what he seems. Karkass weaves a mesmerizing influence over the Kneedeepers, and seems to be more than a little familiar with the snows and ice of the Himalayas.

Just what is happening in Kneedeep? Is Tammy Pooch falling for the charms of the tulip-sniffing newcomer? Can Reuben smoke out his secret? Will Boo Yow Chee, Geyser, and Hyphen be forced to call upon their formidable Fū techniques? Who will be crowned Sowstench Queen: Tammy? Ulna? Miss Magee? Will Mudflap's irresponsible actions at the lighthouse unhinge his mind? And what to make of the strange influences of Karkass Fairfax upon each of Kneedeep's residents?

Come on ... release your inner yeti, and engage in some good, old-fashioned Smear Tactics today!